Do you ever feel Zoom meetings are like staring yourself in the mirror? Where every fear, every thought of self-judgement creeps up.
Well, it's how it used to be for me. I sat there, in Gallery mode, looking at everyone, making up stories. For me, for them. Looking at me instead of the speaker! Sometimes, missing the essence of the meeting.
I couldn't help but compare myself to others... and feel small!
Thoughts like:
"I'm not as accomplished",
"I have done nothing compared to him/her, and I'm 50 years old",
and "I have nothing interesting to contribute to this conversation"
were typically going through my mind.
And I sat there, usually not speaking. Being self-aware of my every move, facial expression, posture and at the same time checking everybody else too.
I was part of the "zoom phenomenon".
Zoom, or any online meeting, is like a live social media platform. Where a lot of people are hiding or performing. Pretending to be the way they believe they should be and act. How they want others to see them. Fake backgrounds. Retouched faces, a great zoom feature, by the way. And I'm not ashamed to confess I love using it.
Depending on the type of meeting, they adopt the appropriate persona to go with it. It's how people behave in live events, too, with the only difference being that in the virtual world, it's more exaggerated... and it's easier to hide behind the screen. Usually, everybody looks so emotion & motion -less! So, serious. It's like there is an net-iquette of social behaviour that everyone must abide by.
Let's see...
If it's a workshop or seminar, look interested. Don't move too much. Participate, raise your hand, and follow the rules.
Work: be serious and prepared... casual clothes are a no-no.
Club: look interesting (and interested), share, participate.
If it's a meeting about spirituality, you have to look zen. After all, you are spiritual!
These behaviours are ok, and I'm not judging, as long as they are, who YOU are. It's refreshing to see relaxed people in meetings. And you can sense their vibe and authenticity, even through the screen.
The great thing is that many of the meetings I attended, were part of courses I took to work on myself, to improve. To find me and boost my self-confidence. Transform. Become the better version of me.
As I moved forward and started to change from within, my behaviour in the meetings changed. I loosened up. I felt more connected to my inner self. I no longer felt the need to show up in a particular way, other than the authentic expression of myself. I stopped judging myself (or others) and just enjoyed the meetings.
You can spot me in a meeting. I'm usually the most expressive person... maybe it's my Mediterranean origins, but the truth is I can't help myself. When I'm listening or speaking, I can't control my smiling or frowning, gestures, or hand movements. And if there's music, I can't help but dance. But this is who I am. And I enjoy being me. I don't care if you, or anyone else, is going to judge or like me. And it's been very liberating.
I now have a good time in meetings. I can concentrate on what's being said. I learn. I'm present. And when the meeting ends, I'm fresh, calm and with no second thoughts.
In the next zoom meeting, show up and be you. And see what happens!
P.S. Wanna work on your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk?
Use daily Affirmations! Learn more and download your free guide here.
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Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.